Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Crime and Punishment Fyodor Dostoyevsky

On an exceptionally hot evening early in July a young man came out of the garret inwhich he lodged in S. Place and walked slowly, as though in hesitation, towards K. bridge. He had successfully avoided meeting his landlady on the staircase. His garret was underthe roof of a high, five-storied house and was more like a cupboard than a room. Thelandlady who provided him with garret, dinners, and attendance, lived on the floor below, and every time he went out he was obliged to pass her kitchen, the door of which invariablystood open. And each time he passed, the young man had a sick, frightened feeling, whichmade him scowl and feel ashamed. He was hopelessly in debt to his landlady, and wasafraid of meeting her. This was not because he was cowardly and abject, quite the contrary; but for some timepast he had been in an overstrained irritable condition, verging on hypochondria. He hadbecome so completely absorbed in himself, and isolated from his fellows that he dreadedmeeting, not only his landlady, but anyone at all. He was crushed by poverty, but theanxieties of his position had of late ceased to weigh upon him. He had given up attending tomatters of practical importance; he had lost all desire to do so. Nothing that any landladycould do had a real terror for him. But to be stopped on the stairs, to be forced to listen toher trivial, irrelevant gossip, to pestering demands for payment, threats and complaints, and to rack his brains for excuses, to prevaricate, to lie-no, rather than that, he wouldcreep down the stairs like a cat and slip out unsee