Mr Stephen James Halbert

The Last Parachute Mr Stephen James Halbert

Publisher Marketing: Welcome to the world of Fat Colin; a world that consists of all the important things in life such as hating one's mother, desiring the unattainable, diets, and nose pore strips. It seemed uncomplicated, if superficial. Time for a change. He decides to take immediate action regarding his weight and the state of his nonexistent love life. His best mate, the ever cheery and optimistic Fat Tash, has been begging him to do one of those 10k runs. How hard can it be? It's only running. In their naivety, they invited everyone and their granny to watch them cross over the finish line, so failure is not an option. Unfortunately, it seems imminent. In the lead up to the 10k run, life goes on. Fat Tash meets "The One," but Fat Colin can't get over the fact that her new beau is 23 years her senior and sports a moustache. He can't voice his opinion on the matter because she'll respond with her usual raised eyebrows and say something like, "There's a nasty little bitch standing in front of me and I think she goes by the name of Jealousy." He has no cause to be jealous because his own love life has started to take shape. He's admired Mark from afar and a Valentine's Day hoax sees their worlds meet when his affections are returned. He feels ruffled. Why does Mark like him? Mark is gorgeous. Fat Colin is not. What does he want with him? And then there's handsome and mysterious next door neighbour Tom who may or may not have feelings for Fat Colin. Now he will embark on an emotional journey - sometimes touching, often humiliating, and always complicated - that shows the modern day knight has ditched the horse and armour in favour of a Fiat Punto and fake tan, and that life's bendy road is littered with unavoidable potholes. Oh, and don't even get him started on his work colleagues; the eccentric Janet's dissent into madness, Jobbie Bobbie violating the air with her flatulence, gossip-vulture Grace who is trying for a baby and enjoys nothing more than furnishing Fat Colin with all the smutty details, and new recruit Julien who seems determined to sleep with everyone in the office. In a life that is made up of the people around you, your diary can become your very own personal soap opera. Just ask Fat Colin.