Fawn Snyder

Ashton's Hope Fawn Snyder

Mental illness can be hard to understand, and even harder to accept when your child is diagnosed with it. For approximately ten years, my daughter Ashton and I searched for answers regarding her symptoms: tiredness, low energy, and no desire to engage in family activities. We were searching for a physical or medical diagnosis. Not until after Ashton's first suicide attempt was she given a proper diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder. This book reflects on our journey together, how it affected our family, and how I as a mother struggled with my daughter's illness. I doubted my effectiveness as a parent and blamed myself for the hell that Ashton had to endure. I have a nursing degree and worked many years on a telemetry/medical floor, and that is the direction my mind was leading me while searching for answers. I studied mental health in nursing school but never thought that Ashton's issues where linked to a mental illness. I learned that education on mental illness was very insightful, as is education on any subject. It was a subject that we were not familiar with. My faith was tested, but also strengthened by this journey. At the time, I felt abandoned by God; but, now that I look back, I can see how He was with us all along I wrote this book to encourage and help others dealing with a mental illness, but also because of my own need to write it, and found the writing therapeutic for myself. I have written this book using fictitious names at the request of Ashton. We live in a very small community and I wanted to respect her privacy.