Misty Dixon

Forgiving Sarah Misty Dixon

"Doc, I need your help forgiving Sarah." Those were the words that left my mouth before I was willing to say them. They were the feelings and emotions that rang true despite my best efforts to hide them. The old therapist looks at me curiously. The deafening silence begs for an answer. The answer is one thing I wish I had to offer. If I knew exactly how I was to pardon Sarah, I don't suppose I would be sitting in this chair under Doc Mavis's care in the first place. But here I am. The truth is Sarah is the most passionate, strong, and extraordinary woman I have ever met. This of course makes things even more complicated. I am teetering on the precipice of loving her eternally and hating her. It is a constant battle that is tearing me apart. At one time, I would have moved heaven and earth for that girl. Even still, she betrayed me. There is a whole new breed of torture, born from the ashes of betrayal. As it is, I am being made to pick up the charred remains of our relationship and move forward. The embers of a once roaring flame may be minute, but they are there. Buried beneath the rubble our love still exists. The lingering effects of treachery at its finest. That is why I am here. I want it back. I want to heal the wrongs committed and move forward loving my wife with the intensity and passion that once came naturally. I want to be the husband she deserves. I am not sure if I am more-so begging or seeking guidance at this point. I do know that my wife and I will never be able to move forward if I don't find a way to move past the utter brokenness and take the necessary steps in forgiving Sarah.