K C Brown

Why I Was Exploited Sexually K C Brown

At 10 years old, I was faced with a confusing sexual experience. Some nights, my adoptive father would come to my room and caress my tiny breasts. His son did the same one time by touching the other sensitive part of my body. This lasted for at least five years. A few years after, my biological brother took advantage of me sexually. I can still remember how he penetrated inside me. I was too drugged and weak to fight back. Carrying this heavy baggage for more than a decade, I viewed sex as shameful and destructive. I felt the guilt and horror creeping in every time I was in bed with a man. I was 30 years old when I came home to my adoptive father, hugged him and said, "I love you, Dad!" I was 36 years old when I saw my biological brother again, after more than 10 years. He played the guitar and I sang along. Yes, I decided to let go and move on. In dealing with the confusions of sexuality, as well as mistrust, jealousy and insecurity, I dug to the core; the root cause-that's where I began. It wasn't an easy fight. In fact, it took me more than a decade to be freed from the trap of the contradicting laws of religion and standards of propriety. Parents should start guiding their children at an early stage when their children become aware of themselves as sexual beings. The whole point of this book is that I'd like everyone to look at sexuality in a more loving and joyous perspective than lustful and destructive. More importantly, this book focuses on how not to be miserable for reasons of sexuality, jealousy, insecurity, and mistrust. Hence, we are aiming at a more accepting, understanding, and lasting relationship. The words I used in order to impart my views on sexuality are not new. In fact, as more and more authors now talk about the same topic in different angles, I may have borrowed words they've already used. Using their words and adding mine will fully demonstrate my message exactly the way I want it to be relayed. Neale Donald Walsch's "Conversations with God" was one of my ultimate guides. Their conversations felt no different. It was as if I was also talking to God. Have a wonderful journey!