Nelia Span

But Still I Rise Nelia Span

I'd embarked my breaking point, and no one could convince me of reacting otherwise. The torturous thoughts of the pain I'd withheld wouldn't leave me alone. They stalked me, causing me to question my existence entirely. Doubts that I deserved to be amongst the living plagued my mental. My purpose on earth couldn't have been to suffer, and if that was all it involved, I wanted out with plans to end it myself before allowing it to overrule and have its way with me. I didn't have anyone surrounding me that understood the depth of the pity I felt. Surely, they could be sympathetic to my tribulation, but they didn't have the slightest clue that I was diminishing with every second I pondered my truth. Striving to protect me from a self-conflicted expiry, my family alerted the police, resulting me to being rushed to the hospital to halt the death I'd voluntarily welcomed to my young life. Without dispute, I'd made the decision to end it prematurely. Concluding that life wasn't meant to be lived by me, I broke down. In my harsh moments of reality, I searched for a coping mechanism in plethora pills. Coming to my clear senses and realizing I'd failed miserably at ending it all, tears welled my eyes at the same time the emotions of feeling ashamed overwhelmed me.