Courtney Pottebaum

Peyton's Passing Courtney Pottebaum

Have you experienced intense heartbreak, trauma and pain? Does it feel like you just can't make it out of grief? Do you feel that you have been punished except you don't know what you did? Does this life just seem too hard?

I too, understand that pain. I too, understand that desperation for some type of hope. I too, felt that not many people understood my pain. My six month old son Peyton died from head injuries he sustained while attending an in- home daycare in January of 2012. After his death I was so angry, bitter, lonely and terribly frustrated that nobody was "paying for" his death. I fought against the 'systems' to try and bring my son justice. I fought against myself to not give up and let the depression completely take over. I fought society by feeling like I had to "get over" his death and just continue on. And then in April of 2015, when I thought it couldn't get any worse my newborn son Tayden died in my arms from complications of Down Syndrome. Now, I was completely broken open. How much more can one person take? I was leveled down to nothing and there was no "fight" in me any longer. And then it happened.... A medium came across my path. She brought me the answers that nobody else could. She was able to explain my own spiritual experiences since my sons' deaths and validate the spiritual messages that my own daughter had delivered. I started to connect with Spirit and find hope that I could get past these tragedies. My perspective was able to change and I was able to look at trauma and heartbreak differently. The new question to be had was, what am I supposed to learn or gain by enduring this? And THAT question alone helped to catapult a life changing spiritual awakening. This is MY story...