Joann Wingfield

The Well Spouse Joann Wingfield

How does love sustain when your life partner doesn't know who you are, not just for a while but for a decade to eternity?

How many of us have asked ourselves this question when we make our marriage vow?

In this painfully beautiful story, the author recalls her journey caring for her beloved husband with Alzheimer's. The book begins with a familiar episode, "Fate likes to deal us unexpected cards. In a split moment, one's life can take drastic turns. Sometimes, it is not for the better, and often, we are not prepared. Yet, people must choose to play the cards the best they know how."

For nearly a decade, she was the primary caregiver for her husband. In the early years after his diagnosis, she refused to bow her head to an illness that was taking her husband away along with their happiness. She tried her best to push the limits due to the illness and determined to live as fully as possible. With the help from hired caregivers, she struggled and kept her job to preserve a piece of normalcy in her life. Eventually home living became impossible, heart-broken and grief-stricken, she sent her husband to an assisted living. Soon after, he was booted out from the assisted living for being "unmanageable."

What could she do next?

Using poetic, lyrical descriptions, the author unfolds the story with twists and surprises; characters colorful, diverse, and sometimes peculiar; and places around the world and where her husband's care took them. There are many cultural revelations where the author's Chinese heritage injects perceptions of solutions and problems that are different from Western thinking. The philosophical and ethical considerations of this process are thought-provoking. Black and white photos enhance another type of caregiving story. These elements expand the story's approach and theme beyond most caregiving books.