Lucy Allenshaw

May I speak to the deceased, please? Lucy Allenshaw

While a telephone adviser insists on speaking directly to the author's late husband, his employers send him a chatty letter after his death, asking him to get in touch immediately. At this point his widow begins to realise the potential value of holding a séance: a sort of celestial conference call, especially as she'd rather like to speak to her late husband, herself. But the very real horror of suicide engulfs ordinary lives in extraordinary events. This book is a first-hand, contemporary chronicle of dealing with those events, learning to live alongside the horror, and finally emerging to live a renewed life which, although undeniably changed, is both positive and meaningful. Sadly, suicide and its consequences are both highly topical subjects, with UK suicide rates continuing to rise, particularly among men in the same age group as the author's husband. Hanging, the method used by him, is still the most common means. As a widow by suicide and the finder of her husband's body, the author continues to experience intense interest in her personal story, from acquaintances and strangers alike. A typical comment is "I can't imagine how you'd even begin to deal with such a massive shock". Her personal account of surviving the impact of her husband's suicide brings a fresh approach to the subject by emphasising active determination, positive thinking and - perhaps unusually in a book of this genre - humour. These are its consistent themes, rather than hopelessness, despair or self-pity. The resulting book is neither a 'misery memoir' nor a mental health manual, but a measured testament to pure survival, when normality has been swept away by a hideous new reality. That survival is based on self-discipline, the invaluable support of family and friends, an appreciation of goodness wherever it is found, and retaining a wry sense of humour in dealing with the aftermath of this most intensely traumatic experience. It is the story, sometimes harrowing but ultimately uplifting, of how one individual emerged intact from unimagined emotional, practical and financial devastation.