Tony Single

Love Death Hell Tony Single

Did you know that there are more than a million words in the English language? Google and Harvard University seem to think so, and they say this number is set to increase by several thousand per year for the foreseeable future. (Actually, we believe the current count to be around 1,050,000 words, but we're not mathematicians, so don't quote us on that!) Did you also know that new words aren't automatically added to the dictionary willy nilly? A new word must meet certain criteria such as a minimum of 25,000 citations, and the necessary width and breadth of geographic distribution, before it can be considered a legitimate word. It's in this way that our lexicons have been enriched with the likes of 'N00b', 'octomum' and 'recessionista'. (And now Shakespeare spins in his grave.) Given that this is the world we live in, we could happily call our new book 'Jai Ho Sexting Chengguan' and leave it at that. How cool! Well... maybe not. So, why amongst all this linguistic multeity have we picked such dusty, old and dull words as 'Love Death Hell' for the title? Actually, we have the answer... Imagine, if you will, that someone in the distant future is hunting for our book in the ruins of an ancient library. It can be found in the category 'Time Wasters' between 'Knitting with Frog Hair' and 'Mammary Enhancement Through Prayer'. In this context, do you think the title 'Jai Ho Sexting Chengguan' would trigger much interest? We doubt it. Rather, 'Figlimigli Phast Makina' or some other WTF title would most certainly be more popular in the year 5218 when English has reached 925,899,301,781 words or so. So, you can consider us yes-men and flip-floppers if you want, but we advocate for the great abstractions of love, death and hell. And selling more of our books. And putting a ding in the universe. And salting money away in Swiss bank accounts. (You know, the usual things.) PS: By the way, our book includes a few words that will become legitimate in about 150 years. Do you want to be ahead of your time? Buy this book and wow your friends! - Tetiana Have you noticed that absolutely nothing was said about the book's actual contents? If you've made it through the hell that is this cover blurb, then we love you for it, and urge you to buy our book upon pain of death. PS: May contain actual poetry. - Tony