Debby Livingston-Jones

Transcending Absence Debby Livingston-Jones

Pottery Edition, Steubenville, Ohio, 1953. Terry Clayton Gray was just shy of three years old when he fell from his tricycle into an open culvert, succumbing to his injuries. Eighteen months after his death, Debby was born. She loved having an older brother, even if she couldn't see him outside of her mind. As a little girl, she experienced the sadness of living in his absence, and the comfort of his enduring presence. She felt special and safe. As a teenager her innocence was shattered. Sexually molested by an older boy, and then diagnosed with a rare and potentially fatal disease, her inability to cope spawned behaviors of recklessness, rebellion, and inner tumult. Through it all, the power of Terry's presence remained even when she didn't feel worthy of owning it. Debby details her struggles to move through her past and to live with grace; in her brother's shadow, and outside of it, too. The author reflects on her disability, the years of reckoning and resolution, troubled relationships, loss, and what she learned about the power of faith.