Christine Alvarez

Voyeur Christine Alvarez

Dear Former CEO- How a dead man could put a sexual deviant in charge of his multi-million dollar company is beyond me. You deemed me a faggot and a screw up, making sure my life was hell as far back as I can remember. You left behind my mother, who was so emotionally and mentally broken that she couldn't even see what was right in front of her. Jon has scooped up the pieces that you left behind and is currently playing with them. I tried to tell her but because of you, she cannot see. I hope for her sake that something sets her straight. I'd rather be riding a wave or my next conquest instead of being here. I've turned into a monster - sitting in the shadows of another's pleasure, lurking just out of sight, getting off as a silent spectator. This is who I have become. This is who you left to run your company. This is who is sitting at your desk. Unable to give in, too worried of what they will see, I sit back and watch how they go about their lives. The way they love, care and connect, but I can't allow myself that luxury. I cannot become the man everyone already thinks I am. I blame it all on you and I feel everything coming to a head. Rod is becoming harder and harder to deny. He offers everything I cannot have and everything I cannot give. He has so much faith in me - too much faith in me. He cannot see what I won't show him and I'm scared if I do, he will run. He's the only one that thinks I can be the man that I need to be. Emily and Declan, hell, even Mom, none of them think I can do it. That is probably the driving force behind even trying. I've watched everything from afar, but my strength is waning as the days go by. I don't know how much longer I can go on before it all comes crashing down around me and it's all your fault, Dad. Your Son, Jackson Steele