Heidi Heath Garwood

I'll Have Mine Straight Up Heidi Heath Garwood

ELEVEN YEARS

Shhhhh! Enough on the years. I am not collecting years, just days. 4017 days on my sobriety birthday, July 12, 2015.

Last time I checked, we are all on the same day--

Today.

This year leading up to my sobriety birthday in July looked strangely like the six months leading up to the day I stopped drinking. From January to July in 2004, I was not sober much of the time.

We received the news this year that my husband had a rare form of thyroid cancer requiring surgery and two types of radiation. During that same time, my mother died suddenly of a heart attack. I went through the loss of several other friends and their memorials tightly packed together right after my mom's death--then recently, my only niece's death.

The difference?

I didn't drink through any of what has happened this year.

There is nothing in this life that we can experience that a drink won't make worse.

Walking through the emotions of it all is hard. People said I would "feel better" when I got sober.

Yes, I am feeling my feelings better because I am present. Stuffing the feelings by drinking was keeping me in denial and stuck. I "feel" better because I am not checking out. Feelings are not facts. The feelings pass. Growth happens. I can move on and live.

Now, I am living all of this life straight up!

You can too. I pray that for you.