G J Paterson

The Christmas Handbook G J Paterson Second edition

Within this festive tome you will find: The never before told history of Xmas and Jesus, How to cook the perfect Christmas roast using ocelot and locusts, A detailed survival guide, The explosive conspiracy surrounding crackers, How to build the perfect snow penis, An advent calendar featuring a man made of horses, Your very own Christmas Handbook Power Badge!, Kickass cocktail recipes, And other hilarity not found in mainstream Christmas literature. This is the Christmas book your whore grandma didn't want you to read!