Dov Ivry

Earthlings vs. Andromedans: Stanley Cup 2041 Dov Ivry

Publisher Marketing: This is a story about about extraterrestrials who pulled their malfunctioning ship into earth in 2039 to make repairs, setting up in Siberia. They meant to lay low but it didn't work out that way. One thing led to another and finally to a challenge for hockey's main prize, the Stanley Cup. Here is how the book begins. Frank Gregg, the venerable voice of the Toronto Maple Leafs, chosen to broadcast the first intergalactic showdown for the Stanley Cup, awarded to the best hockey team in existence since 1893, looked into the camera and began to speak. "Hello Earthlings and hockey fans in the United States. We are broadcasting from the city of ---" "Cut, cut, cut!!!" shouted a man with a recurring tick under his right eye standing behind a glass partition in the control room. That is Marco Tomeri, president of the National Hockey League. "What's wrong?" Gregg asked looking up in surprise. "What's wrong?! You are not broadcasting to Canada but to the whole world." "So?" "So?! You are making it sound like the Americans aren't interested." "This is an historic event. I wanted to use a phrase redolent with history." "Don't give me 'redolent with history.' Say something like 'hello Earthlings wherever you may be.'" "As you wish. "Hello Earthlings wherever you may be. We are broadcasting from the city of Chelsea in northeast Siberia at the pre-fabricated stadium seating 20,000 for the one-game showdown for the Stanley Cup between the best on earth and challengers from outer space hailing from the Andromeda galaxy." "That's good," said Tomeri. "And remember Gregg this game will be watched and heard by vast numbers of people who don't know a puck from a bagel so you have to explain things." "Just because I am getting on in years," replied Gregg, "doesn't mean I'm stupid. I was doing this when you fellows were still in kindergarten." "Don't take it personally," said Tomeri. "We're all very nervous here. This is going to be the biggest audience in history. Everyone will be using our simultaneous television and radio feed so we want everything to be done right and you are in the center of things broadcasting in the world's most far-flung language. We had to push very hard to let Canada have the broadcast in honor of the fact that the game started there." "What else do you want me to do?" "That's a wrap. We'll do another dry run tomorrow morning." Contributor Bio:  Ivry, Dov I am from New Brunswick, Canada, now resident in Israel, a journalist by trade.