David Alan Cohen

If It Flies, Floats, or Flirts . . . Turn the Page David Alan Cohen

A humorous and engaging account of the bored and dysfunctional very rich who subscribe to this lifestyle and the obvious pitfalls that ensue, as shared by the author, who has been an employee and confidant to these participants for decades. The flies, floats, and flirts lifestyle of Harp, who prefers to rent women with his famous tagline of "how much, how long, and when do we get started" is compared to that of Herschel, a wealthy industrialist from the Great White North. They fly their own seaplanes, are married, with children and grandchildren, and addicted to male erectile dysfunction medicine. Herschel enjoys companionship, be it for a week or a month, introducing these women as the "girlfriend" much to the chagrin of his suspicious wife, Sadie, who knows he is doing this but can't prove it. Harp cuts to the chase for sex, while Herschel entertains the women in his fleet of aircraft, hoping to score with the multi-mile-high club in his jet and savor a victory at sea in the seaplane. His family fears for their inheritance with each new "girlfriend" he acquires. The author has worked for other wealthy males who fly their own aircraft but can only flirt with women. Acting as tough alpha males within their own peer group, they are spineless at the thought of losing their fortunes should they ever get caught. Insanely jealous of Harp and Herschel, they lavish exorbitant sums of money on their aircraft and boats, which have become their "mistresses"