Joan Webb Basile

You Made Your Bed Joan Webb Basile

It was Christmas, 1964, and just when she had begun to enjoy the holiday and believe that her secret was actually safe, the singers she was vocalizing in preparation for their concert had begun to act strangely.

She tried to tell herself that it was just her imagination or the fact that this was their first performance since having been deserted by their previous music teacher. They had dearly loved him and it had been quite a struggle to replace him but she had finally won them over.

Now she feared that the ensuing enthusiasm, which had caused her to choose an extremely difficult concert to perform, had been a mistake. The music was so challenging that she knew they would never succeed if there were any reason for them to be distracted. If they had discovered her secret, they would most certainly be distracted!

Her mind raced as she pondered the reason for their calm behavior, but she could find none. They should be climbing the walls with adolescent jitters but they just sat there waiting for the time to line up for their entrance onto the stage. Her thoughts darted over to the auditorium where her four-year old daughters were listening to the band with their grandmother. She knew that if her secret had been discovered she would not only lose these students, of whom she had become very fond, but she quite possibly could lose her own precious children, as well.

Her heart pounded wildly as she motioned for the chorus to line up. As they made their way toward the stage, it occurred to her that if the students knew, then their parents and her administration knew, as well.

She had been forced by circumstances to seek the abortion. It was against everything she had been taught as a child growing up in Bernhards Bay, NY in the 1940s and 50s. Her childhood, although marred by her fear of her